5 Reason Bud Bean Chili 3/325

The Relation

Louie Gassmann (Gertrude>Henry) is my uncle. He is the eldest of the Henry Gassmann kiddos and is the luckiest of the males (at least in the hair department). Barely a gray hair in his luscious locks and every follicle seems to be intact! This chili recipe, I can only assume, is named for the five beers you drink throughout the cooking recipe (five reasons to drink). To say that this is classic Louie humor, would be an understatement.

The Process

Sautéing in unauthorized oil

Let me start by saying that I am not a big drinker. And when I do drink, my tastes are much more of the fruity, girly, bright pink variety (my uncle Frank and I have the exact same tastes on this). Drinking 5 cans of Bud Light is not my idea of fun, but in the name of the project, it had to be done. I also accidentally bought tallboys instead of the recommended 12oz cans, which complicated things a bit. Cooking conversions are hard enough sober, let alone when you're drunk.

This recipe isn't rocket science - which is good considering how much beer you're drinking while executing it. I will say that I appreciate the use of cup measurements in the vegetable section. I never know if I have secured a "large" or "medium" onion when a recipe calls for one. PSA: I used approximately one tablespoon of extra light tasting olive oil as the oil to sauté the vegetables (note: oil is not listed in the ingredients! Get it together, Louie). 

When you Google the phrase "stirring to crumble" there is nothing, and I repeat nothing, about ground meat on there. I assumed that you just cook until brown and crumbly (a safe assumption, right?). It seemed to turn out pretty well, so must be right.

On its way to crumble

I had all the time in the world when I was whipping up this chili, so I went for a cook time of 5 hours. I recommend popping in a movie or two and riding out the buzz (I personally watched Detective Pikachu - great flick).

Don't forget to add the mushrooms at the end and fish out your bay leaves! I was very close to forgetting; thank goodness the can of mushrooms caught my eye. I drained the mushrooms before putting them in the crockpot as the mixture was a little soupy already (same with the pinto beans at the beginning of the recipe). There were no specific instructions, so I figured balls to the wall and go with your gut.

The Feedback

Who said Chili isn't pretty?

I invited some of my close friends over to eat as Good Pal Kramer was in town from his graduate program. Paired with cornbread, broccoli and some homemade mac & cheese made by Bougie Pal Hannah, we had quite the meal. While the chili was delicious, I must say it was rather overshadowed by the mac & cheese (sorry, Louie!). If I made it again, I would probably double the cumin and toss in some salt - but I also really love cumin.

The Recipe

FIVE REASON BUD BEAN CHILI                             CC04

Louie Gassmann

⅔ cup chopped green pepper

¾ cup chopped onions

1 tsp minced garlic

2 lbs lean ground beef

6 cans – 12 oz each  – Bud or Bud Light

Beers consumed

3 cans – 8 oz each – tomato sauce

1 can – 15 oz – red kidney beans

1 can – 14 oz – diced tomatoes

1 can – 4 oz - sliced mushrooms

3 Tbs chili powder

1 Tbs ground cumin

1 tsp ground cinnamon

2 tsp oregano leaves

1½ tsp salt

½ tsp Italian seasoning

½ tsp powdered mustard

⅛ tsp ground red pepper

2 bay leaves

In a crock-pot, pour tomato sauce, red kidney beans, 1 can of beer and all spices. Stir ingredients. Set crock-pot on low – 200°-225°. In large saucepot, heat oil until hot. Add green pepper, onion and garlic sautéing for 3 minutes. Open up second can of beer to drink while sautéing vegetables. Add sautéed vegetables to crock-pot, stirring to mix up all ingredients. Brown ground beef in saucepot, stirring to crumble. Open up third can of beer to drink while browning ground beef. Remove grease from ground beef. Add ground beef to crock-pot, stirring crock-pot again.

Cook at least 2 hours – longer is preferred – 4-6 hours. One half hour before serving, add can of mushrooms, remove bay leaves and drink fourth beer. This should leave you with 2 beers to have with your chili.

Note:  If you like your chili more "soupy", go with a 6-pack of tallboys rather than 12 ounce cans.  Who said cooking isn't fun!!