River Rat Wine (30/325)

Bill Schaub (Left) CC80

The Relation

Bill Schaub was a marine and an outlaw (at least according to us). He was married to Emily Eagleson,  eldest daughter and third eldest child of Dot and Phene. He died on November 24th, 1986, and was born on October 19th, 1928 (Happy 92nd Birthday Bill!). He would be my first cousin, twice removed by marriage. 

Ned Schaub (Dot>Emily) sent me a wonderful article published after Bill's death written by Mike Lawrence at the Herald & Review Springfield Bureau. Bill was a journalist for many years, then started a career working as a civil servant for those in public office. Clearly, Bill never kept quiet about what he felt was right and wrong, risking his position to inform those he served of these notions. More importantly, he did it all with a sense of humor. I like to think Bill and I could riff on a few topics, but more likely he would teach me a thing or two. See the full article on Bill Schaub here.

The Process

Spooky Concoction

Let me first say that this was one of the receipts I was most excited to try. As I perused the Cousin Club Receipts book, I remember thinking "River Rat Wine... now that's a wild one." When the stay at home order was issued in Las Vegas and I knew I wouldn't be leaving my house for a bit, I knew it was the perfect time for the river rat wine. 

It's been a while since I actually made the receipt so some of my memory is a bit fuzzy but here's the jist. Head to the store and grab some frozen grape juice concentrate. My store hides their frozen fruit and juice amidst the frozen desserts, which always baffles me. The container I found may have been there longer than any store manager would be willing to admit. The cardboard cylinder felt a little squishier and there was some pretty severe ice build-up. 

Inside the jug

Next, grab some yeast. If you are in the beginnings of a severe pandemic, you may have to resort to buying a two-pound bag of yeast off of eBay. Helpful tip: Store most of the yeast in the freezer to make it last longer! You should also get a ton of sugar, which luckily I already had at home (another hard to find item during a pandemic).

Make sure to start thawing your grape juice concentrate as soon as possible. Not everyone lives in a city that is constantly 90 degrees, so plan ahead! Also, you will stain your hands. If you've got a hot date or a hand photoshoot later in the day, wear gloves. My mixing bowl has one of those handy spouts, which helps in the transferring of the sugar/yeast/grape juice mixture into your jug. Personally, I opted for the clean option (or at least thoroughly rinsed).

Day 1

Grab your balloon and pop that sucker on the top! Now, you have 21 days to ponder your existence, grow a sourdough starter, start a small business, whatever you choose.

21 days later, it was ready. Had I not cared about the fate of our population, I may have held a little wine and cheese soiree to celebrate. Alas, social distancing measures were followed. Sous Chef Grant (now also Boyfriend Grant, in case you didn't see that coming) came over for the official tasting. We broke out the only wine glasses I own, one with the Sailor Moon Senshi on it, the other with a little fox that says "for fox sake". 

The Feedback

READY!!!

Minor tangent: Back in my days as a hospitality major at UNLV, you were required to take a certain number of upper-level classes. Once you turned 21, the alcohol classes became an option. Naturally, I signed up to take the wine class to knock out one of the required courses. Unfortunately, hard as I tried, I really don't love wine. That combined with the fact I knew no one in the class and it was at 10:00 AM on Saturdays, led me to drop the class. Long story short, I am not a sommelier. 

All that being said, I didn't think it was awful! I had very low expectations. When we picked up the jug, you could see a ton of undissolved sugary sediment at the bottom, which made my stomach a little concerned. To me, it tasted like a cheap dessert wine. Grant loves wine. He, unfortunately, did not love this wine. Overall, highly recommend this as a fun quarantine hobby. Results may vary.

Grant & I taste wine

The Receipt

RIVER RAT WINE - CC80

Bill Schaub+

Time: About 21 days

Cost: About $1.60

1 large – about 13 oz – can frozen grape juice concentrate
4½ cups sugar
1 package active dry yeast
1 gallon jug or glass milk bottle
1 heavy – 10 or 15 cent – balloon

Thaw grape juice concentrate. Combine with sugar and yeast. Pour into clean – if you’re picky – jug. Fill with water to shoulder of jug. Mix thoroughly. Tie a heavy balloon over the opening of the jug. Let stand at room temperature for 21 days.

Balloon will blow up, then deflate. If it deflates sooner than 21 days, the wine is ready anyway. If the balloon blows right off, merely replace it. At the end of 21 days the wine is ready whether or not balloon deflates. Wine improves with age, but it’s ready to go at 21 days.

- Editor’s Note: That’s $1.60 in 1980 dollars.